emotions=good

I used to be an emotional person. I know, I know, some of you are thinking, “Used to be!?” Yes, hard to be believe. I used to feel things in a big way. Some would criticize that. Like having emotions is a bad thing.I often embraced it. To me it was better than not feeling anything. I like feeling things in a big way. Because, even though that means sadness may hit me hard, other things, good things, like love can totally and completely fill my heart.

In the school of public health, HBHEs are known as the touchy feely ones. And for the most part its true. I think I was so overwhelmed by 50 something other touchy feely people all around me, I rebelled a little bit. And with stress from school and ignoring problems in a relationship, and being hurt by those I thought were friends, I’ve pushed all feelings away because it was easier to just not feel it. And it was certainly more pleasant than being “overly emotional.”

But I’m going to let myself feel those feelings again. When I pushed back all the hurt and sad feelings I think the happiness went with it

I may not have time like this again for a while. In the fall I’ll go back to school and then it’ll be into the real world of full time jobs and all the other things that come with real life. But I have the time now. To feel, to be. I am hoping that by putting in the dedication now that I will be able to better take the time to continue and have this be a part of the real world for me.

I’ve spent the past year helping someone else get their oxygen mask on and I’ve been losing oxygen fast. Right now I get to commit this next month to me and to feeling things again. Hopefully good things.